Like so many other children, I was raised by parents that could not see past their own pain. They did not know how to see past their own pain and believed in their fear so much, they refuse to change and did everything they could to stay in control.
I was raised in a house that was abusive and fear driven. It’s not uncommon especially in the time I was raised in. It was considered normal to hit or beat your children and let me tell you, it is far from normal to control another human being with violence. I know that I will be up against parents and I have been who believe this to be normal but I ask of you to please challenge yourself to grow past your own pain and know there are other ways of parenting based on respect, understanding and loving firmness where you will raise children connected and respectful. Abuse creates painful wounds that last a lifetime and emotional destructive patterns shaming children keeping them in a place of low self worth and self esteem. We are here to do better and we can do better.
I didn’t speak till I was four years old. A lot of it was because of the house I was living in and the way I carried my own fear of self expression and the anxiety felt in my home, yet I was seen that there was something wrong with me. I can also tell you now at the age of 41 that I remember my world around me with such detail. I could see through the words people spoke, I saw their pain and what they kept hidden from the rest of the world. I saw spirit movement everywhere I went, I heard conversations that I could not see and being around any person I could see into their life and what was to come. With this awareness, I was driven inwards naturally. How do you put into words what feels completely natural and share it knowing you will not be understood? When you could already feel and know most people thought there was something wrong with you. Knowing they wouldn’t believe you, knowing you will be seen more of a freak than they already think you are.
I remember hearing conversations by my parents and other adults that ‘I was not normal’ that I was different. Adults for some reason think children don’t feel anything when they openly speak about them when they are right there in front of them. Let me tell you the pain that is felt when adults do this to children. Children are highly aware, because they don’t speak that doesn’t mean they don’t feel. They don’t speak because they don’t feel safe to. They don’t want to be judged, who the fuck does?
The more I heard I wasn’t normal, the more I went inwards and the more I became emotional and angry, the more people were saying ‘there’s something wrong with her’. I had no place to express how I really felt and as I grew into a teenager I raged against the world and myself. What else do you do with the anger kept inside of you? Depression and anxiety that was a fuck yes, something I had detached from because I had to try and be ‘normal’ but this whole time I was a natural born medium. I have natural ability to converse with the unseen. I received ongoing pictures and dreams in my head that came true but I had no one to speak about it to and some of it wasn’t nice and I carried it all inside myself. I wasn’t just dealing with every day stuff, I was dealing with something that was powerful and disturbing at times and my sensitivity and empathy was much higher than what’s considered to be ‘normal’. That fucken word normal, what is normal?
It’s challenging to paint a picture of how intense my inner world was and still is, there’s a lot to carry, but I now know how to manage it all and I was able with the connection with spirit be guided to on how to, and I managed this all on my own.
Children of high sensitivity are managing much more than what most think they are, and the fascinating thing is how so many people see high sensitivity as a weakness which is so far from the truth. We have to manage feeling everything to a capacity that most people couldn’t manage. It is an amazing strength especially in the world we are living in now.
I heard the label autistic thrown around about me when I was younger because no one could understand what was happening inside of me and there was no way I was going to share with anyone because I never found one person with the awareness I needed to be understood, not one. I was communicating on a different level and children know when a person KNOWS and is present. Don’t doubt that they don’t because they know much more than what they are comfortable sharing.
And that’s partly why I’m here. I want to bridge the gap of understanding. I want to support both parent and child. Our children are such a gift as we are to them, and with understanding our inside world we can then extend that knowing to support our children, but parents you need to be able to challenge yourself to grow and fuck off what is considered to be normal, to stand next to your children and go YES she/he is different and so am I and like fuck are you going to tell me what’s good for her/him when we already KNOW. It would be an honour to help you own that because parents are still being pushed and pulled whether to follow their knowing or follow the crowd. I say fuck the crowd.
I have supported, assisted and helped thousands of people world wide because of my uniqueness. Yes I’m different, yes I’m not fucking normal and I am so grateful that I’m not because of the love and a different view point I have brought into the world. I never gave up on myself when everybody else did, it was my knowing that got me here, the support of the unseen that many people choose not to believe in but it’s real and I want to support both you and your child to grow into the uniqueness that you both are and rip the box wide open of what is considered to be normal.
Let’s just get rid of the word normal and replace it with understanding.